Where did you get a picture of my penis
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I smell like Dick and happiness
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
