Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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