She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
