goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
