She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can't talk, ducks in the car
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
