The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
