If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
