the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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