I've blown a few things in my day
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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