I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
