you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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