Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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