So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
