she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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