Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
MIDGETS
????
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
