I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
