I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
