MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
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