i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
