it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
