Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
