I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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