he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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