The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
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Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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