I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
