the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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