I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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