Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
