3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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