Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize