It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
