no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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