no, he came in my armpit
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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