is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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