Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
