I heard we made out
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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