its not stalking. its research.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
