Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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