So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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