are you still at the devil's house?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
