The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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