i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Everyone says I win the strip club
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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