im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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