im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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