are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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