Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
either way he was missing a nipple.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So. Much. Porn.
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