he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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