you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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