we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
