I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
