You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
