woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
