when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
