I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
