sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
