I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
