a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
