she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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