went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
