Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize