If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
