South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
